He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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