man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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