if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
