Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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