bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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