You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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