Yo dont text me then not text me
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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