I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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