You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
