Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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