According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
