It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
