I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
