I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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