So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
