The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
being pregnant is like rehab
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
