quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
