He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize