the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
