will power is for people who don't want to get laid
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
