wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
