Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
