I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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