I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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