some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
