Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
