You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
