I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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