Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
