**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Someone shit on the floor
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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