using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
