I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
