Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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