I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
