is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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