At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
