my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
