Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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