the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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