So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
