Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
