Please, let me fuck your mom
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
