Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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