Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
