i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
