So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
what day is it and did you see me today?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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