that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
