You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
