sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
