It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
barbara walters just said penis...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think my moral compass just broke
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
