No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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