ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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